


she cursed you with love

by TheIvySiren



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse of italics, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Bad Decisions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lonely Lance (Voltron), One Shot, Sad, Season 8, Take it as you will, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 13:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17002131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIvySiren/pseuds/TheIvySiren
Summary: The marks that Allura left on Lance didn't show her love for him.They showed her selfishness.Because Lance would never love another.Because Lance would never allow himself to move on.Because Lance would live the rest of his life alone.And the others didn't know how to help him.





	she cursed you with love

**Author's Note:**

> So this is basically my opinion of Lance's Altean marks. I thought they were cute at first until I saw the end cards and yeah. 
> 
> Also this was supposed to be way longer but the document didn't save and only managed to recover half of it and I'm just too done with this to try and continue it. Sorry not sorry. Maybe if I feel up to it I'll rewrite the unrecovered parts and update them as part 2 but like don't expect that to happen. keep your expectations low people so if I actually do it you'll be pleasantly surprised.

**Lance**   
  
It hurt.  
  
It hurt to return home every day without _her_ by his side. It hurt not to hear _her_ laugh, see _her_ smile, feel _her_ skin. _It hurt to live without Allura._ __  
  
But Lance - he managed to make do. The war was over but there was still a lot to do. The Galactic Coalition needed to be strengthened, they still had hundreds of planets they needed to help. There were missions to go to, people to rescue and most importantly, _others to inspire._  
  
And that had a strict requirement of Lance, and the others of course, always being on his best. Always being happy to help, always being glad to answer questions, always being ecstatic to _live,_  even if more than half the time Lance never felt like it.   
  
He managed to do it because of Allura. Because of the marks she had left on him. Left on him to show him just how much she loved _him._  
  
The marks under his eyes were usually associated with Alteans and he wasn't one. He was the one __Allura had chosen. Just like she had chosen to sacrifice herself for the sake of realities, not just their reality but all realities.   
  
Every morning he'd wake up with a deep sadness drowning him. But then he'd get up, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror and suddenly love would bloom all over him.  
  
It would wash away the sadness no matter how much it got to him, because looking at those marks always reminded him of Allura and him.

  
He would remember their memories. Remember the memories between him and Allura. The special ones, the ones that reminded him that it wasn't all in vain. He didn't lose her in vain and her sacrifice wasn't for nothing   
  
The sun was going to set soon and he had to hurry up and get ready. It had been almost a year since then and they, Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Keith and Coran decided to meet up at least once every year to have a picnic under her statue.    
  
The statue they had built of Allura to honour her sacrifice. It was next to the new castle of lions, both were surrounded by fields of Juniberry flowers, the flowers of Alteans, _ Allura's favourite flowers. _

He entered Red, he felt her rumble out a greeting like usual, he greeted her in turn. He didn't notice how her greeting was quieter than usual, more resigned than usual as if she knew that something was going to happen that night.    
  
It didn't take long to reach his destination. The others were already there, chatting and catching up with each other. It was funny, they spend so long more than annoyed by each other's presence and now?    
  
Lance found that he missed being constantly surrounded by them. It didn't matter what he felt like though, the universe needed them more than he ever could.  _ And Allura taught him to put the universe above anything else. _

**Pidge**

Lance was the last one to arrive, like usual. The certain spring and swagger in his steps were still there but they could, could see so clearly as they looked into his eyes, the sadness that shone within. 

The light blue marks under his eyes stood out like sore thumbs and  _ their eyes couldn't help but narrow in anger.  _

They loved Allura like a sister but they knew what  _ she did was wrong _ . They knew the marks changed Lance considerably and not in a good way. 

They didn't know if they were the only ones to notice how Lance always seemed to go on and on about Allura lately, how he spent most of his time teaching children, especially young Alteans about Allura and her sacrifice, how he used all his time planting Juniberry flowers. 

They didn't know if the others noticed that Lance wasn't Lance anymore, he was more like an extension of Allura and a part of Lance. He simply wasn't him anymore. And they knew they needed to talk about it with the others. 

Gone was the boy who reached for space. Gone was the boy who smiled and lifted the spirits of others. Gone was the brother that would do anything to help others and in his place was left a  _ broken man who only lived because Allura told him so. _

They were going to speak with the others alright, but not in front of Lance, he didn't deserve their misplaced anger and frustration directed at them. Their anger existed because of Allura and Lance wasn't and never would be her.

So they kept their anger in check, they laughed with the others, they talked and discussed the latest news, the tried to keep their mind off the matter but the fact that they were sitting directly under Allura's statue only served  _ to agitate them more. _

Their feet started to tap under the table and everyone noticed.  _ Everyone but Lance that is, he was too busy being lost in his memories as he stared at the statue. _

Soon enough the sun had set and the moon had risen. They were all ready to go and Lance decided to go first, he wanted to look at the latest batch of the flowers in the castle, make sure that they were okay.

As soon as he was out of sight they anger burst out. They slammed their hands on the table, startling Coran, Shiro, Hunk and Keith.

"This isn't right!" Confused faces met their cry. "What Allura did to him wasn't right!"

Coran's eyes narrowed slightly in anger they knew, he was still hurt over her sacrifice, they all over but at the same time Coran, just like Lance, blinded himself to reality.

"Pidge, cmon, Allura did nothing wrong." It was Hunk who spoke out, voice soft but firm but they knew he disagreed with his own statement. They saw how his own eyes would shine with worry whenever they glanced over Lance.

"No, she did and we all know it." Everyone was quiet for a few seconds before Coran spoke out, his anger revealing itself through his tone.

"Are you saying Allura's sacrifice is in vain?" He didn't get, nor did Shiro and Keith.

They sat down, took a deep breath and explained what they meant to them. "This is about her sacrifice, it's about the marks she left on Lance. Don't you see what she did to him?!"

"She left those marks on him because she loved him." It was Keith that spoke, his voice firm and strong, he was lying to himself and they knew it. He might have moved on from Lance, he might have accepted that the would be nothing more than friends but that didn't mean he had to ignore his worry for Lance.

" She didn't love him. If she loved him, she wouldn't leave those marks on him! Don't you see?! Because of those marks, Lance will never be able to move on, he talks about Allura and her greatness each day. He spends his days growing Juniberry flowers because they were her favourites. Loving someone means making sure to never hurt them, it means making them happy, it means accepting them for who they are and Lance isn't who he was anymore!"

Her voice shook with anger and tears burned her cheeks as they fell. They were frustrated and hoped more than anything that the others would finally see the truth.

The others were still confused but after listening to her last point they eyes widened in surprise. They knew what Pidge mean, even Coran knew. Even if they loved Allura it didn't mean they had to pretend she didn't have any faults.

"Cmon Pidge, everything will be all right. Give it time and Lance will go back to being himself." It was Shiro who spoke this time, his voice calm and firm but they could sense the uncertainty behind it, even he didn't believe his own words.

"No, it won't. Maybe, Lance will never go back to the way he is, how would you know? Obviously, there is a large chance that everything will be all right, but the chance that everything  _ won't be all right is greater. _ Lance won't allow himself to love anyone else, he won't let himself move on because those marks  _ don't show Allura's love for him. _ They just show her  _ selfishness, _ because she didn't want to let go of him, she didn't want Lance to love someone else, she knew how Lance was, knew he wouldn't let himself and she did it anyway.  **_She left those marks on him because she was selfish!!!"_ **

Their voice was shaking and their tears were scorching their skin. They couldn't understand why the others didn't see it the same way they did. Didn't they see the truth behind those marks, those marks were nothing more than a curse meant to keep Lance unhappy and alone.

They didn't bother staying, they ran back inside. They couldn't stand listening to others try and justify Allura's actions. They couldn't stand the others pretend that Lance was okay, that he didn't wake up each day not for himself but for Allura. He didn't smile because he was truly happy, he smiled because he thought it was his obligation to keep the universe happy because that's what Allura wanted. 

They knew Lance wasn't going to be okay,  _ they just wondered how long it would take others to notice.  _

That night their lions took off to space and each of them knew they would never return again. During their time at least, right now their reality could survive without them.

 

**Hunk**

It's been a year since...well everything. 

Pidge and their family decided to train the next generation of Legendary Defenders, Keith helped The Blade of Marmora transition into a humanitarian relief organization, Krolia and Kolivan became the representatives of the Galra race in the Galactic Coalition, Shiro settled down and married Curtis, Coran still taught and guided the newer generation of Alteans and Hunk achieved his dream of bringing people closer with food.

Everything was going great, except Lance of course. It was just like Pidge said, Lance decided to stay back on Earth doing what he loved...which was growing Juniberry flowers. Because they were Allura's favourites. 

Hunk tried to deny it for the longest time but it was easy to see that Lance still hadn't moved on, he refused to. He stayed loyal to Allura even though she was no longer here and Hunk knew that it was the marks holding him back just like Pidge warned. 

It was hard, meeting everyone under the statue on the anniversary of Allura's sacrifice and seeing that everyone but Lance had moved. It was hard seeing his best friend, his brother act like a shadow of his former self.

It hurt knowing that Lance did nothing but stay at the farm, he was supposed to be Lance, the boy from Cuba that would spend every moment he had surfing the waves at Varadero beach, instead, now he was Lance the lonely man who did nothing but grow and take care of Juniberry flowers. 

Hunk felt lost, he didn't know what to do, none of them did, to be honest. 

Lance always had a small, sad smile on his face like he was barely hanging on to life. Lance's rigorous routine of skin care was thrown away, the effects of which were quickly visible from the growing number of wrinkles on his face. He constantly had dark circles under his eyes, the results of him barely sleeping. 

Lance was wasting away and none of them knew what to do. They tried to drag him to places, Hunk forced him to stay with him for three weeks but in those three weeks Lance's health took a turn for the worst instead of getting better. He would barely eat, he would spend hours just walking while holding a Juniberry in his hands. His responses were slow and whispered, the light that used to be in his eyes had died out completely. 

Hunk knew that they tried to help Lance too late so he ended up taking him back to his farm, to his fields of Juniberry flowers, the only place where Lance reverted back to normal, even if that normal wasn't the old Lance.

_ Hunk just wanted Lance to be happy again.  _  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I was mad about the 8th season at first but now I'm kinda like over it. I'll always have fanfiction and fanart and I could care less about other people's opinion on the ships that I like, besides I have other fandoms that I'm a part of and want to join.


End file.
